


Nervous habits

by HeadFullOfCanons



Series: FAPuary [9]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji centric, Anxiety, FAPuary, Gen, Hints of Mental Illness, Nervous Habits, fill a page february, hands fidgeting, maybe hints of BokuAka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 09:58:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9650657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadFullOfCanons/pseuds/HeadFullOfCanons
Summary: His hands are always fidgeting. Like they are moving on their own. When he is focused, when he doesn't pay attention. They never rest. Akaashi Keiji maybe has a problem, or maybe he is just cute. Just a matter of perspective.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This may be a bit more serious topic, but I always wanted to write something about Akaashi's 'cute' fidgeting. So here goes nothing

Nervous habits are defined as involuntary, undesired, repeated behaviour patterns. They appear to be irresistible, yet they can be suppressed. Well at least for some time.

 

Keiji rubs the thumb on his right hand over his index and middle finger in small rapid circles. He does so without even noticing it. As if his hands move on their own. At this point it has become a habit, something beyond his control. His hands are always moving. His fingers always fidgeting. Sometimes, when he is really focused, he starts to chew on his nails. Only for a bit, until he catches himself doing it. Then he stops again, slightly disgusted with himself.

 

Keiji had tried filing his nails, thinking that that would keep him from chewing on them. It did. But he started to bite the surrounding skin instead. Until it started to bleed.

In the end wrapping sports tape around his fingers did contain the problem. No one would question a volleyball player, even more a setter, having his fingers wrapped in sports tape. The sports tape stopped the biting, but not the fidgeting.

The fidgeting never stops. During class Keiji plays with a pencil or drums his fingers on the desk. During his way to or from school he plays with keys or coins in his pocket or tightly grips the strap of his bag. Even when his hands are empty he is fidgeting. Touching his face, his hair, or his hands.

Keiji twist his fingers into a weird knot of flesh, loosens it again and ties it again. He repeats the process, going steadily faster to keep his fingers occupied.

 

Keiji had noticed that, for whatever odd reason, others seemed to think of such habits as cute. Not in him specifically, but generally. When he sits together with his friends during lunch one of them would point out a girl and say something like 'Look how cute that shy girl looks, playing with her hair like that'

The others would agree in an instant and, because he doesn't want to stand out, Keiji also nods, before he looks back down on his plate. The fingers of his left hand draw a zigzag pattern on his right thigh underneath the table.

 _Cute_ isn't the first word Keiji would use to describe. Maybe its not even in his top ten.

_Annoying, embarrassing, disgusting,_ _disappointing_

All of them look like a way better fit, but his friends would think of them as weird if he were to ever say them out loud. For some reason they think its cute when a girl twirls her hair around a finger again and again. They think it's cute when a girl keeps her hands clasped together. It makes them look so shy, so cute.

Maybe some people even look at Keiji and think that he is cute when he is fidgeting with his fingers. He hopes that they aren't. He doesn't feel cute, or even remotely desirably. Not in this pathetic state. And if fidgeting makes him cute, he doesn't want to be. He wants to be free. Free from what is beyond his control. Free from feeling nervous. Free from his fingers hurting after he chewed on them until the blood came.

He wants to be able to heal his injuries like a normal person instead of picking on the scab. It has left some scars on his body. And their number only grows. With every time he gets a small paper cut. Every time he scratches his knee or elbow during a receive. Every new wound however small is something to touch. Something to scratch. Something to keep his fingers occupied.

 

Keiji intertwines his fingers, rubbing the thumbs over each other repeatedly. He feels that someone is staring at him. The movement accelerates.

„Oi, Akaashi, you're doing that weird thing again.“, Bokuto says, his eyes focus on Keiji's fingers. He looks interested. Keiji's movements slow down a bit.

_Is he about to say that it's cute too?_

Keiji keeps quit and waits for Bokuto to say something about his hands, but Bokuto seems to have lost interest already.

„Hey Akaashi, toss for me!“, Bokuto demands. At least he tries to sound demanding,but Keiji can tell that this is more of a plead. The movements stop.

„But only for a bit, Bokuto-san“

 

**Author's Note:**

> By the way, I 'suffer' from nervous habits, so most of this writing is from what I feel about it. Yup, I commited the sin of projecting myself on a fictional character, hate me for it if you want to. But I couldn't help to see this boy fidgeting with his hands and think 'Hey, he is like me'  
> If you don't want to hate me I'd like to remind you that feedback of all sorts is always welcome.  
> Also I have a [Tumblr](http://headfullofcanons.tumblr.com/) where you can always leave writing prompts/request for free :)


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